ODE
TO THE
THOUSANDTH FUCK
It's
possible that, seening that there is a problem, sooner or
later great geniuses will begin to fill this dark gap in our
culture with tons of cinematic, literary and poetical masterpieces.
Odes to the thousandth fuck will be written, when he recognizes
every little wrinkle on her eyes and she knows exactly how
to scratch his back. We will see the delirium of fulfillment
in technicolour, the 'last step' when her nipples expand in
his mind revealing to him the essential harmony of the universe.
However,
before reaching a state of ecstasy there is another problem
to overcome. A block that needs to be dissolved, an enormous
block that is in the midst of our culture like a monolithic
mountain that prevents us from seeing the horizon. This block
is made up of the effects of sexual repression.
Repressed sexuality, apart from the whole sexual relationship
in general, conditions in particular the capacity to imagine,
plan and experience a continuous relationship as a couple.
A
sexual relationship is for men and women, as for all other
mammals, a form of relationship that coincides with adult
age. Animals reach this level of socialization through the
gradual experimentation of ever more intense and deeper levels
of sexuality.
The
problem with human beings is that we reach an adult age to
experience sexuality as a couple without having previously
experienced all those initial encounters of unrepressed sexuality
and sexual exploration that constitute the natural preamble.
The denial of sexuality is so violent and decisive that a
void of experience is created in childhood, a dissatisfaction
and repression of desires that spill disastrously into adolescence.
Just
think that males reach the peak of their sexual power between
14 and 17 years of age, but generally only later do they succeed
in acquiring shreds of satisfaction for themselves. Hence,
the intermediate phases in sexual development remain unsatisfied.
Human
beings in adult age discover that drifting in their minds
there are bits of childhood desires and adolescent drives
that continue to surface, spoiling their ability to devote
themselves constructively to complete love.
I think that much sexual behaviour like fetishism and sadism
stem directly from being embittered as a result of incomplete
or denied childhood experiences.
It is not a phenomenon that concerns only extreme behaviour.
It seems to me that our whole sexuality suffers from childishness
and immaturity. We are tied respectively to external appearances,
superficiality, insecurity, and consumerism that are typical
of an emotional state that is stuck at the pre-adolescent
phase.
In practice, the tragedy is that, besides everything else,
we continue to pursue the fantasies arising from the dissatisfaction
of childhood and adolescent sexual desires. We're unable to
obtain pleasure in a relationship, because in reality we don't
desire it at all, it doesn't interest us.
We madly desire that little girl that we saw at the age of
six. We wanted to bring her up close to us, to touch her to
see if she was real and... roll on the ground, see what she
tasted like, smell her... that's all we wanted. There was
nothing wrong with it. Instead our fears prevented us from
doing so. That's why we like women with a small nose and a
child-like face like Brooke Shields.
We
haven't been able to satisfy the sexual impulses of our early
childhood and these desires have stuck with us, growing abnormally
and unhealthily through the years. For this reason when we
leap on a woman, we are only capable of a series of disorderly
and confused gestures. Our sexuality is a series of disconnected
gestures because our sexual desire is still at a childhood
stage.
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