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WHAT
TO DO WHEN YOU CAN'T GET IT UP
First and foremost, don't worry. Easy to say, you'd say.
Certainly, when it happened to me for the first time, you bet I
got worried! But, woe is me, worrying didn't do me any good. In
fact, it made things worse.
I was about eighteen years old. I was doing my exams and it was
right there, in the classroom where we had to write an Italian essay
that I met her.
She was slightly late. She entered the classroom when we were already
seated. A strapping girl with a mountain of curls on her head. As
I look furtively at her, I notice 2 things:
A) She is gorgeous.
B) The seat next to mine is the only empty one and she was coming
towards me in order to sit down.
A leap in the stomach, a strong emotion. I begin to suspect that
God exists and that he's on my side. Two days later, we meet in
the park of the Castello and we neck: she allows me to touch her
tits. Small, firm and deadly as they often are at 18.
Another day passes. She calls me at 11 at night. "Come over!"
she says to me. "Over where?" I ask... After half an hour
I swoop over to her place with heartbeats at 1,247 (1,247 beats
per second). It's one of those heart-palpitating scenes. She is
even more beautiful naked than dressed. A long back, long legs,
a round bum - a geometry manual. She is aroused. I stroke her back
with the tips of my fingers. She hoots, moans, and gasps. Perhaps
she is a little too aroused. Perhaps a little excessive. I feel
that she is forced, nervous, and my agitation grows. From the sofa
to the bed. I lasted for only 2 seconds, 3 at most. She whines,
continues to stir again. I am in the shits. I want to get it up
again. But I expect too much. She turns me over on my back again.
She begins to rub it against her tits, against her pussy. I only
think: "Get up! Get up! Get up!" like in the comic strip
by Andrea Pazienza. Nothing.
I only feel like dying. I wish I wasn't there, don't want to see
those delights. I break out into a cold sweat. I have a knot in
my stomach, a knot in my lungs, a knot in my dick. I hate myself,
my dick, she so beautiful and the world so stupid. This goes on
for half an hour and the more she persists the more I get limp and
the more I suffer.
Until she gives up. She rolls over to the other side and falls asleep.
I remain immersed in the scorching depths of desperation for an
hour. "I'm impotent, I'm impotent, I'm impotent, I'm impotent".
These two words torment me without my being unable to drive them
away from my brain. Then suddenly, the imbecile reawakens. The imbecile
is my dick, which comes out of the lair no longer threatened by
her lips. But she pushes me away, mumbling that she is sleepy. Shitty
world!
In the morning I flee full of shame and horror.
I never had the courage to see her again. Time passes. Sometimes
my dick works, sometimes not. Suffering and anxiety grow. I notice
however that the calmer the situation (maybe because the relationship
is less important) the fewer problems I have... I begin to reason
about this matter... Nervousness, sex is like an exam, a virility
test, it is my problemÉ
A few years pass. One evening I find myself in bed with a girl that
I had courted off and on three years earlier. She too is beautiful,
curly-haired, with a long back and long legs, large somewhat pear-shaped
breasts. A delight. I come in 8 seconds and 4 tenths.
Then after a few more kisses and caresses, it becomes erect again
and I try to get it in but just then, between the moment of thinking
and the moment of acting, at the entrance of that extraordinary
place, the ship sinks again.
Horror! What should I do? This time I decide not to let it bother
me at all.
A man shows he is a real man when he can't get it up. When it's
as hard as marble, they're all good at being macho men. I spread
her legs open against her chest and I start to rub my penis against
her clitoris. The more I rub, the more it becomes limp. But I insist,
calmly. It was a real act of heroism (thank God I know exactly where
the clitoris is). After a few minutes, I notice that she likes it.
I relax.
At least I'm doing something... Then I notice that I like it. My
limp dick is more sensitive. It's different, but it's enjoyable.
So, little by little, the pleasure increases as I enjoy my impotence
until she comes. But I don't stop and I continue to rub, then, finally,
it becomes half hard and I'm able to get it in. But I come right
away again. I classify myself with a timing of less than 7 seconds
sharp. If I ran the hundred-metre dash, I would have won the world
record, but unfortunately it wasn't a race.
But I was happy just the same.
I had found a partial alternative use of the limp penis.
From then on my impotence diminished, even because I didn't care
so much about it and I would rub it until it became erect again.
Later I discovered another method. In the scissors position (see
fig.down), you are able to insert the penis even if it is limp.
Well,
it's no big deal, but you succeed after a while. Staying there in
the warmth, the dick-head (which isn't so much of a dick-head after
all) in the end understands that he has found earthly paradise and
he swells up.
It's only a question of time and relaxation. Certainly there are
more serious cases of impotence. But in 90% of cases, it is only
a question of nervousness, inexperience, and lack of time and intimacy
with the woman. Nothing that can't be cured with a bit of calm and
i you stop wanting to play the part of the ramrod lady-killer at
all costs. You need a little sense of humour, a bit of healthy scorn
for the idea of the man of steel, and a patient girl.
Sure you say: where do I find a girl that accepts me with a limp
dick that's like rotten mozzarella? (without running away laughing
scornfully: "He's a queer! He's a queer!")
Well, you're wrong. First of all, rent the film "Some Like
It Hot" with Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis and learn! Women
love to find men who finally have weaknesses, who need help...
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Women
are maternal by nature. They have an enormous desire to care
for, to cuddle, to be indispensable. Find one who is intelligent,
possibly not a complete virgin and open your heart to her. If
she isn't stupid, and if she is interested in you, you'll see
that she will help you. And then be willing to let her help
you. Enjoy the delights of a limp dick, screw her for hours
softly, reward her by gently licking her for a long time. Talk,
joke, learn to laugh in bed. Ask her to tell you what she likes
and how. |
And
don't limit yourself to sex - sex - sex. Learn to massage, have
a snack in bed, eat and drink the foods that you love most, watch
a funny movie. Maybe you won't get it up right away, but you'll
surely have a great time. And if you are enjoying yourself, sooner
or later he'll also rise to the occasion (that imbecile tool of
yours).
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