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WOMAN'S
AND MAN'S
PLEASURE
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It
is by now a universally held opinion that female psychology is fundamentally
different from the male. Misunderstandings between men and women
arise precisely from this difference.
Men and women think, speak, and live driven by different motivations.
The female mind is dominated by the genetic impulse for motherhood.
The psyche of girls is based on the need for calm and security:
the woman gives birth and has to have a nest and a love that materially
sustains her in the miracle of motherhood: pregnancy, birth, and
breast-feeding. Fertilization is not the heart of the problem for
girls. Nature ensures that the woman should not worry too much about
finding someone willing to impregnate her. In fact, the Good Lord
has made sure that women are spoiled for choice. To the contrary,
man doesn't have psychological drive for logn-term reasoning.
The
task that evolution has assigned to him is only that of an accessory,
a support for the continuation of the species. This task is made
up of many small acts that demand of man an enormous capacity to
concentrate his efforts in brief, intense periods. Man doesn't generally
think of the problem of motherhood. "It's not his problem".
He doesn't have a global or comprehensive view of it. He sees only
single moments, single proof, and single problems.
Man
needs to ensure that his seed impregnates the greatest number of
women, that he finds food, confronts dangers, and is able to give
help. All clearly defined jobs. This difference in basic instincts
has overall repercussions in the way man and women face situations,
in the way they think, on their emotional levers on their use of
language.
As a result of this, infinite misunderstandings arise: "I just
don't understand women", the men say. "Men are incomprehensible",
the women complain.
Of
course. We don't understand each other because the meaning of the
discussion itself, the reason that compels us to speak, is different.
A classic example is the following. A woman talks to her man: there
is a problem, with the children, with the house, with friends.
What drives the woman to speak? The need to know that the man by
her side shares her anxiety: together they will face the difficulties.
In every problem, woman sees only a small part of an overall question.
She looks for the reassurance of not being left alone... The specific
problem itself doesn't concern her... problems for women are of
a general physiological nature. There is no crucial moment. There
is no goal. The mother has children that she has to care for as
long as she lives and each day she risks everything for all.
But
man doesn't understand this. His woman asks him for help. The basic
biological mechanism snaps in man, the gorilla that is in him takes
control: it's war!
Therefore,
the male prepares to carry out plan A:
1. He inquires about the nature of
the problem.
2. He evaluates it.
3. He proposes one or more theoretical
solutions.
4. He studies the pros and cons of
each solution. He evaluates technical necessities, costs, human
resources, the likelihood of success and levels of danger.
5. He sets forth a series of good purposeful actions in order
to obtain the best results.
6. He studies the errors committed in the past by him and
his partner in similar, analogous and parallel situations. At this
point, the woman gets pissed off: "But what's all this about?
I am asking you for moral support in a difficult situation and you
criticize me and give me a lecture?"
Does
that mean my problems are of no importance to you? I(ve got the
right to lead my own life too, you know" O.K. The fight has
broken out. The structural and linguistic misunderstanding wants
its prize in blood!
Now I haven't said all this to bore you. You can't make love properly
if you don't understand that a woman is completely different from
a man (and vice-versa).
Men
and women feel pleasure for different reasons.
The woman feels a widespread pleasure. In a sexual relationship,
no one thing is more important than others. She doesn't have objectives.
She may prefer to come in one way rather than in another. But there
isn't a specific scale of values in her mind. Words, caresses, the
place, before or after, the light on or off, that particular moment,
the rhythm, are all equally important.
Conversely,
the man is there brushing his teeth and suddenly he gets raptus.
Impulse is something immediate, specific, and planned for him: "I
want to put my hands on her tits". It's not a fully thought
out plan. If he succeeds in touching her tits, he may then decide
he wants to do it from behind. Then maybe he will think it over
again because he feels like...
For the male, the nearest detail is the most important.
Therefore, if a man wants to give a woman pleasure, he has to learn
to see the situation through her eyes. To make a woman laugh is
sexually more important than the size of the penis. To treat her
with sensitivity counts more than the quantity and the power of
his pelvic thrusts, and washing his armpits is more exciting than
a porno film.
On
the other hand, if you want to give your man pleasure, you must
understand that he is a strong, fiery, and somewhat short sighted
stud.
Proceed gradually. Tell him what you want, make him understand that
he too has to express his needs. Already this will do him a lot
of good because his ideas are clear and he knows that your ideas
are clear and that everyone's ideas are clear, so everything is
very clear. O.K. it's stupid.
But what can you doÉthat's what we boys are like. We're a little
mechanical.
Therefore
keep in mind that a man's pleasure is specific: you need to do one
thing and not another. If you are touching him and he doesn't like
you scratching the top of his glans, don't scratch them please.
It irritates him. It doesn't take Einstein to understand that if
you grub your little teeth on his glans, for him it is like hearing
chalk being scraped on the blackboard.
So why do you do it?
Do you know that if you stop touching it just as I'm about to come,
you ruin everything for me.
And why to you treat it like a rubber doll? Don't handle it like
that, it's not egg noodle, you know? It is sensitive. Poor thing.
It loves music, sunsets, and gentle caresses. And then think up
something new every once in a while. Take the initiative. Surprise
me. I always have to do everything. You, lounger, it's already a
miracle you give your consent...
It follows that to describe specific techniques to give a woman
pleasure would be stupid. Whereas it isn't if you describe techniques
to give a man pleasure.
We
therefore suggest a few experiments.
1. Make a man come just by massaging
the area of utmost sensitivity with a fingertip.
2. Do the same by circling the thumb
and forefinger around the penis right underneath the glans you must
lubricate abundantly with oil and cream). Then move the fingers,
bringing them together in the form of a doughnut and horizontally
moving them in a rotating way. Like opening and closing a tap. (see
fig. 1)
3. After lubrication, let your hands
slide round the penis one after the other, in a continuous flow
of movements.
4.
Wet the penis with saliva as you kiss it, keeping most of the glans
in your mouth in such a way that the most sensitive spot underneath
the glans is placed against your tongue. Hold the penis still in
this position. Don't move. Just lick that spot slowly with your
tongue.
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