PERCEPTIONS ARE WONDERFUL THINGS
this state of communion with another person, this state of
diffused physical pleasure is a fundamental experience to
widen your sexual horizons. And it is an excellent cure for
impotence, premature ejaculation, inability to ejaculate,
and male and female frigidity. To experience a "peak"
orgasm it is necessary to relax, breathe, and move very slowly,
rather, not moving at all, staying there, wait 31 minutes.
You look, smell, and caress each other. If you are really
in love, you can see that you won't be bored. How can I make
you understand in a concrete way this type of reasoning that
seems at first sight so crazy? I would like to subject you
to a visual experiment, an optic trick that very simply shows
that in front of the same image we can have two completely
different reactions. Now look at the drawing here below.
will see two profiles, or a candle. If there is someone
who sees the two things at the same time, get yourself
quickly admitted to a hospital because you're a very serious
case. Let's say that generally you see only one of the
two objects at a time. This little visual game, this optical
illusion can make you understand what I'm talking about.
In other words, the difference does not always depend
on what we're doing.
More often it depends on how we feel the experience we have
made, on how we make our perceptions work. Our perceptions
are wonderful things. Here below we will see a more amusing
brain is able to create images. Here you see a triangle
that doesn't exist. It is our brain that creates this
triangle and if it can do this, it can also create a triple-orgasm,
a quadruple-orgasm, the wildest sensations. It's essential
to understand how the mechanism works. It's essential
to understand what we are looking for. If it's a mental
pleasure or a real involvement of the whole body. But
this total involvement comes from a true mental relaxation.
If the rational brain doesn't relax, it consumes so much energy
that not enough remains to listen to sensations of pleasure.
Those 31 minutes of inactivity serve precisely to create a
state in which the rational brain (which is hyperactive),
not having anything to do, gets bored and not tolerating boredom,
it switches off.
Boring the rational brain is the simplest way to switching
it off. Our rational brain is an overzealous eager-beaver.
It never stays still, not even when you're simply looking.
It even corrects what we see. If you look at the three little
men in the drawing here to the side, you will see that the
one that looks bigger to you is the one at the end, because
this optical effect gives an illusion of perspective, and
therefore the little man at the top seems bigger because it
appears as if it were at the end of a street.
reality, all three little men are the same. It is your
brain that says: "All three seem equal to me, but
that one there is farther away because it is at the end
of the street, therefore it is bigger". So it makes
you see it bigger because your brain is afraid that you
are wrong. It is convinced that you are a bit of a dick-head.
Understanding that our brain is capable of changing the
size of what we are perceiving is amazing.
As is also amazing understanding that just as he fools us
a little, so we can fool him a little, to make him rest in
the moments when we don't need his activity. To put him to
rest, it is enough to make him do something stupid, like "not
doing anything". He falls quickly asleep and you can
abandon yourself to pleasure.
Sexual pleasure reaches the highest peaks when the rational
brain stops looking and measuring it. We feel the most pleasure
when our mental (rational) brakes let go and we lose control
of ourselves. But most people never in their lives experience
this level of absolute pleasure. Sweet Tantra is the way to
get there, training the rational mind to let go. When you
have learned it through Tantric sex, then you will be able
to do it naturally without having to resort to the 31-minute
exercise each time. It will come natural to you to devote
at least an hour at sex and cultivate a gentle attitude, disassociated
and relaxed. And if you don't think while you're having sex,
it is less likely that you will suffer from impotence and
missed or premature ejaculation.
They are disorders that simply disappear, without doing anything,
in the moment when the rational mind stops controlling and
judging everything that happens. If you let yourself go to
passively listening, absorbed in the flow of sensations, of
entering really and completely in the moment that you are
living, things will truly go in another way.
would like to suggest to you another absurd experiment.
If you cross the fingers of one hand as when you hope
for good luck and gently and slowly touch the tip of your
nose with both fingers at the same time, it will seem
to you to have 2 nose tips. It's a fantastic sensation.
At the beginning probably, you won't feel anything, it's only
a confused perception, then slowly your brain will create
this sensation: 2 nose tips! You have to wait a few seconds,
waiting for your brain to tune in to this new perception.
Try it... it's wonderful. Attention, it works only with the
This exercise is elucidating because the first time you do
it, it will take a few seconds to feel two noses, but then,
for the rest of your life, it will be enough to touch yourself
for a second to perceive the 2 noses right away. Once a sensation
is memorized, it will take an instant to feel it once again.
It's the same with Tantric sex. Once you have learned it (identified
it), you will get to it naturally and without effort, simply
because your instinctive brain knows that it's there, knows
that it is pleasure, and looks for it. For a super orgasm
it is indispensable...
We are fully able to experience ten, a hundred, a thousand
times the same caress. It isn't true that if I do it hanging
from a chandelier I will feel more pleasure. I can get a lot
of pleasure even if I do a very simple thing. A caress done
with the tip of the finger can be much more blissful than
ten nymphs furiously assaulting my body with monstrous-erotic
thrusts. To increase sexual pleasure and to experience the
peak orgasm of Tantric sex, you don't need to do anything
spectacular or difficult. It's sufficient to do 3 things well.
first, and the most important, is to breathe. You will think:
"What has breathing to do with sex? Nothing!" Instead
it has a lot to do with it. For example, look at those scenes
of wild sex in films: when the two lovers look at themselves
in the eyes, they are already breathing convulsively: ah,
ah, ah....Then when they kiss, they look like two orangutans
gone berserk. It is the breathing of the great Latin lover,
showing that he can't resist anymore... so he breathes that
way, syncopated, gasping.
This way of breathing is exactly the antithesis of sexual
pleasure because only a small part of the lungs are involved.
Breathing in such a way, not enough oxygen gets to the blood
and the level of carbon dioxide saved in the lungs drops,
as a result the pleasure receptors function poorly. Orgasmic
capacity decreases tragically.
To reach the utmost pleasure, you have to do just the opposite
of what we see in films: slow and relaxed breathing. By breathing
correctly I can increase my orgasm incredibly. The fact is
that all of us don't know how to breathe. People don't completely
fill up their lungs or completely empty them. Explaining how
to breathe correctly is a big problem, but fortunately the
universe loves us (and that's wonderful).
We don't need to learn how to breathe because we already know
how to do it: when we yawn we breathe perfectly. Therefore,
I invite you to do this exercise: now try to yawn and listen
to what happens during a yawn. That's it. Once you yawn, you
feel better. Then there is that sensation of pleasure in the
final phase of the yawn, there's this fantastic mandibular
orgasm, a wonderful pleasure, that even if someone puts a
finger inside your mouth and titillates your velum palatinum,
you're not able to close your mouth and bite the finger off.
Because you're feeling a lot of pleasure. You've been taught
to put a hand over mouth because it's bad manners to show
people your immense pleasure. Obviously, you have to do something
pleasurable on the sly because people don't want to see others
taking pleasure yawning. Moreover, the yawn is infectious
and this pleasure would take hold of the whole country. The
big yawn! Go ahead and yawn, I'm not offended, so I'll continue
with my discussion.
The yawn is perfect. It makes your whole stomach, all the
muscles and the diaphragm move, and it renews your oxygen
supply. In the yawn there is also a moment of non-breathing
during which you nevertheless continue to move the diaphragm
that is below the lungs. This way, you give your lungs a shake,
you help them get rid of catarrh, and it also optimizes the
level of carbon dioxide. To yawn is magical! If you want to
increase your orgasmic pleasure tenfold now... not after six
years spent in a Tibetan monastery at twenty below zero, they
wake you up at four o'clock in the morning struck at the knees
with an iron bar, and not even after six months of a rebirthing
course, crying, shrieking and collective desperation, eating
only canaries drowned in Bach's flowers ... no, I'm saying
increasing your sexual pleasure starting tonight...
sufficient that you make love yawning... uninterruptedly.
Remember, however, to tell your partner that it deals with
an oriental technique or else he/she could say: What's going
on? We haven't made love for ages! And what's more, when we
make love, you yawn from beginning to end... Fuck-you...!
I give you written guarantee you that if you make love yawning,
after a few minutes the yawn becomes always more pleasurable
because you get the hang of it and you feel your whole body
become sweet and gummy, you feel fantastic shivers. You have
an orgasm that lasts 45 minutes! Not seven seconds! No more
premature ejaculation, impotence, nothing. You yawn, yawn....
like crazy! I truly give you my word! And obviously I recommend
it all the more if you want to explore the peaks of Tantric
Breathing is essential and at the start the yawn is the best
method. Yawning for a long time allows your body to remember
how to breathe correctly. Returning to Tantric sex, the second
important thing is to be relaxed. Someone will think: "But
I am very relaxed. I don't need to relax any further".
It's not true and the proof is this: if you look at a hundred
horses walking, you will notice that they all walk the same
way. Look at a hundred people walking and their gait is all
All these ways of walking are caused by contractions in a
part of the body and deflation in another. How does it happen?
How is it possible that your muscles are contracted without
you being aware of it? What does it mean? That we don't have
complete control of our musculature? Yes, precisely.
If you don't believe it, try this experiment: place your hand
against an obstacle and begin to push.
with all your strength for sixty seconds. At the end of
the minute, you let go and move your arm away from the
obstacle, and you notice that it rises by itself. It stays
raised for a minute or two depending on the effort you
made in pushing. (Attention, however. I'm sorry to say
it, but even this game works with only with the arm!)
What happens? When you begin to push, the rational brain gives
command to the rational musculature. The latter begins to
push, but it's lazy. After a few seconds, it gets tired and
says: "Enough! I've had it!" And so the unconscious
brain begins to push, which commands a musculature that is
unconscious. When you stop pushing, the command reaches the
rational brain once again, reaches the rational musculature
that isn't doing anything. No one commands the unconscious
musculature and she continues to work... then after a while,
she becomes aware and says: "What the heck am I doing?"
And stops. But it takes her some time.
exercise won't work for everyone. It deals with a small percentage
of people who are extremely disciplined and are able to do
something that is almost impossible and that's to continue
to push for sixty seconds with the rational musculature. The
rational brain continues to say: "Push, push, push...."
It doesn't get distracted, not even for a second. In this
case, when the rational brain says stop, the arm stops immediately.
Because it's the rational musculature that's working. However,
this is a phenomenon that we in fact all know.
example, when we ride an bicycle, we don't continue to
think: "Right foot push, left foot push, right foot
push, left foot push...."otherwise riding a bicycle
would be torture.
After you are pedalling for a while, the legs move by themselves.
And you can think of other things, chat, sing. This is an
amazing phenomenon. We have two muscle bands that work in
parallel and allow us to do exceptional actions. But if we
don't know this mechanism, we risk that the unconscious musculature
remain contracted. It is essential to know that our muscles
can be contracted even if we're not aware of it because there
are a lot consequences of physiological nature: headache,
back pain, joint pain, cystitis, gastritis, menstrual pain,
Often we suffer from these disorders only because there is
a strong contraction of the irrational muscles and we haven't
forgotten how to relax them. Generally, involuntary contractions
are a source of a lot of health problems, but the problem
becomes really disastrous when making love. Men always fear
that they're not up to the mark.
What do you do when you are afraid? You squeeze in your ass!
Squeeze in your ass in today, squeeze in your ass in tomorrow,
the L-spot gets strangled, loses sensitivity, and isn't able
to produce orgasm. So that 50% of men over the age of fifty
have prostrate problems. Because by sheer force of being contracted,
it explodes. Conversely, 50% of women don't use their vaginal
muscles, and after menopause, this musculature collapses and
we have uterine prolapse... urine incontinence... disgusting
Now the wonderful thing is that it's very simple for both
men and women to confront and solve this problem of excessive
contraction and excessive relaxation. It is sufficient to
move the pubococcygeal muscle. Learning to contract and relax
this muscle is very simple (and this shows once again that
the universe loves us). We can all do it. We all use the pubococcygeal
muscle when, peeing, we block the urine flow... Exactly as
you're doing now. Continue to practice as you read the good
it will do you. Contract this muscle for 8 seconds and then
listen to your relaxation for 24 seconds. It is exactly what
we do when we thoroughly stretch.
other essential characteristic of Tantric sex is slowness.
This is something that drives today's sexual culture crazy.
I remember seeing a pornographic film when I was young and
then tried to make love in the same speed as in the film...
I burned my penis all over! I walked around the whole week
all bandaged up with anti-burn gauze, my penis looked like
an Indian chief with a poncho. I have nothing against pornography,
but it should be mandatory to write overhead on the film:
"Attention! To film these scenes, the actors applied
a type of self-extinguishing fireproof paint on their genitals
to avoid setting the same areas on fire".
All they had to do was say it! Caution the young so that there
won't be any injuries. Slowness is the most erogenous thing
there is. The more slowly you make love the more you enter
an absolutely extraordinary state of awareness.
Perceptions change. You experience sensations that you have
never experienced before. We never stop in order to listen
to a slow movement.
here I would like to suggest a very simple little experiment:
while you are sitting, place your hand on your knee and
try to close it as slowly as possible, at the speed of
one or two centimetres at most a minute... very slowly.
You should feel a sort of clank clank that makes you understand
how little our joints are used to slow movement. Continue
for a few seconds. If you move your fingers slowly enough,
you will feel a strange sensation in your hand, like a tingling
sensation, an increase in weight and warmth.
That's it, this is the sign that your hand has relaxed completely.
You have relaxed the irrational musculature and this strange
tingling sensation and warmth is caused by the great flow
of blood that arrives to the muscles that have finally been
relaxed. This is a very ancient Chinese cure and is useful
in all those cases in which there is an annoying muscular
Listening to this slow movement, you begin to feel a lot more.
After a minute, your perception has increased. Think about
making love at this speed for 31 minutes... In the end, you
will even hear someone speak in Japanese. You hear it distinctly.
You don't understand what he is saying because it is Japanese,
idea of Tantric sex is that in these 31 minutes you are able
to raise the volume of your perceptions, whereas usually we
make love and live with the volume completely lowered. We
don't listen. We don't listen while we make love and we don't
listen to life. Someone will think that it isn't true and
that I'm talking nonsense, but I can show you that I am telling
you the truth. It may have happened to you to be looking for
your house keys: you put your hands in your pocket and they're
not there. You look all over the house and you don't find
them. You put your hands back in your pocket again... nothing.
So you throw your house upside down and you don't find them.
You put your hands back in your pocket... and they're there.
Where had they been? Or we suppose that we live in a universe
in which the house keys go to a pub once in a while. They
drink coffee and then they return home after 20 minutes...
or we must admit that our way of listening is completely flawed
that we put our hands in our pockets and we don't feel the
That is, our intelligence works off and on. And it happens
that you are looking for a big book that is right in front
of you and you don't see it. You look for your glasses that
are on top of your nose, or the hat that you are wearing,
the shoes at your feet, etc. This is the drama of non-listening.
What has been the fundamental idea of all the great mystics
in all continents and in all epochs? What have they kept repeating
for milleniums? That if you are able to tune in to listening,
you are naturally able to listen to mystic ecstasy, nirvana,
They are all words that have the same meaning: the capacity
to be able to listen without keeping your fingers in your
ears and slices of cheese over your eyes. Even this will seem
to you to be an absurd discussion, but all of us have experienced
this state of full and total illumination: when we have fallen
The stupor of this feeling creates a shock and our armours,
our barriers, our perceptive filters melt away and suddenly
you experience the world like you have never experienced it
before. You have the famous lover's syndrome. Are you able
to recall how you felt when you were madly in love? You go
about looking at everything as if it were the first time that
you saw it: "The sky! It's blue! But really blue! A special
blue! I've never seen it this blue. What colour was it before?
Look at the tree. All those ruffled leaves, thrown in upheaval.
So green! But oh so green! Where the sun shines, they are
a lighter green, and where it doesn't shine, they are a darker
green! Look how small the little ant is!
Did you polish yourself this morning before leaving the house?
You are carrying a huge crumb! How could you carry such a
weight? What an effort you must be making! Tomorrow I will
bring you a loaf of bread so that you won't have to leave
your house for two years. Poor little creature! And all your
friends feel sorry for you. Poor guy, he's in love... It's
best to leave him alone. He's out of his mind. And here our
barbarism comes to the surface. The disdain for love is a
cultural malady that we have carried with us for milleniums.
The ancient Athenians and Romans judged it shameful to fall
in love. It was a sign of weakness. To say "you have
fallen in love" was an insult. For this reason, there
doesn't exist a single love story with a happy ending in the
whole of ancient literature. Whoever loves is a vicious pervert
and destiny will punish him. When you are madly in love, you
are afraid of going about because you think that your smile
is so stamped on your face that whoever looks at you, understands
immediately and says:
"Look what a dick-head he is! He's in love!" If
we were a civilization worthy of the name, they should teach
us that when someone is in love, you should sit down and observe
how he behaves because he has solved all his problems. Nothing
is how it was before anymore. When you are in love, you hear
completely. The problem is that you attribute your ecstatic
state to the other persona, you don't understand that it deals
with an inner wealth. And after three weeks or three months,
when this effect wears off, you have also labelled the person
that you love. You don't see her anymore and so she no longer
arouses emotions in you. She no longer has that magic effect
And so what do you do? You get pissed off with her: "You
no longer arouse the same emotions in me that you once did,
so it means that you don't love me anymore. But if instead
you were to understand what the mechanism is, you could try
to return to it. Tantric sex allows you to put yourself in
a state of listening in such a way as to make you return to
that emotion. I remember that when I fell madly in love with
my wife, we were in Sciacca, a wonderful town in Sicily, a
stupendous region. But one day, we went to a nearby town that
was truly squalid. There was a shabby-looking bar, but I was
dying of hunger. The famous lover's hunger. I enter this bar
and there was a display case with only one pizza... pizza,
Oh God, it was something out of a horror film, but I was very
hungry and I asked the bar owner for it.
The lady, as in a book by Stefano Benni, shed a tear because
by now that pizza was part of the family, they've passed it
on from generation to generation. It was called Assunta...
the pizza... The lady gives me this pizza. I look at it up
close and think: It's not possible, I've never seen anything
like it, this can't be mozzarella! But I was hungry..., I
fold this thing, I put it in my mouth, I take a bite... A
paradisiacal taste!!! That is, it was truly disgusting, but
my perceptions were completely drugged by love. Even if I
was only breathing, I thought the air was better: what did
they put in the air today? Additives? It's all in the head.
If it works in a different way, it changes the whole perception
of the world. And it almost seems that this planet is a place
worth living in.