where it's pleasurable
how to do it so that it's
would be strange if after 10.000 years of sexual strife, there
were no problems in bed.
We are soaked in preconceptions and fears and we have not
been educated to enjoy pleasure, physical contact and erotic
The walls, newspapers, and television are full of erotic images,
but sex doesn't give us the satisfaction it could give us.
Sex is still sin. It's not talked about in school. It's improper
to go around half-naked, even in the summer, and it's not
nice to mention certain body parts, to touch people in certain
places. Lastly, if a man has a lot of women, he is 'macho';
if a woman goes with a lot of men, she is a slut. Sex is practised
little, in a hurry and badly.
is stifled by existing customs in a simple yet destructive
way. The woman is brought up to be reserved and to fear sex.
So that once in bed, she doesn't have the courage to fully
express herself and enjoy herself, and she certainly isn't
able to give pleasure to the man she loves.
Conversely, men are brought up to insult women who are too
sexually exuberant, so they don't come to enjoy the most beautiful
things of love: the lover's enjoyment and the tenderness of
intimacy, the emotion of a woman who loves freely.
man-woman relationship is marked for both by fear and distrust.
Everything becomes a problem. There are a lot of people who
even experience disgust for the penis
and the vulva.
The woman fears being thought of as a slut and doesn't appreciate
the constant attention of the male. The first menstrual periods
are received not as a big celebration, but with anxiety. Suddenly
little girls become women endowed with breasts, hips and round
from one day to the next they are no longer thought of as
little girls. They go to pubs and men lust after them with
their eyes. They are whistled at on the street and fondled
on the bus. All this in the midst of the greatest lack of
information about sex, femininity and the miracle of birth.
Similarly, men pass quickly from playing with pails and shovels
to asking themselves the dreadful question: "Am I a real
100% he-man, capable of conquering a dozen women in heat?
Will the demure madonnas, buxom drug-store ladies and the
girls I sit next to at school (suddenly endowed with fantastic
curves) become my prey?"
young girls are alarmed to see themselves developing breasts
that are sometimes very large, but don't think that, in the
midst of this growth of three-dimensional breasts, the poor
little boy, still preadolescent, doesn't get a fit of fear,
longing and uncertainty.
The little boy not only develops later than the little girl
but, in addition, he is a major klutz until age twenty. Surrounded
by super macho talk in bars, he is reasonably convinced, that
he is a total sexual reject.
Hence a vicious circle is created in which insecurity, fear
and distrust are consolidated and reinforced. The more the
man panics, the more he insults the woman. The more the woman
is insulted and harassed, the more she distrusts man and has
difficulty connecting sex with pleasure.